So, as I sit here and collect my thoughts for the evening, I remember that I played powerball last night! 104 million dollars is at stake. I haven’t checked my ticket yet to see if I am a multimillionaire. Somehow I think that if I sit on it and wait, the longer I wait the better my chances are of winning. Make sense? No I didn’t think so. See, if I am not so greedily anticipating the drawing, then maybe, just maybe, my lack of greed will be what helps me win. Hasn’t happened yet. The odds of winning last nights jackpot are about 1 in 195,249,054! Besides the obvious (dying in a plane crash, being struck by lightning) , I have better odds of becoming president (1 in 10,000,000), dying from parts falling from an airplane flying over me (1 in 10,000,000), winning an academy award (1 in 11,500), and becoming a NY Times best seller (1 in 220).
I love when I hear people say that if they hit the lottery they would donate money to this, and donate money to that. They probably think that this will bring them good karma, and that they will win. Hey, whatever works for you but I like my theory better. I’m not trying to end world hunger, or solve the homeless problem. Nope, I am going to donate to the charity of me. Okay, I’m not that bad. I would definitely help someone who is in need. Maybe find a family that has lost everything and help them rebuild their lives. Or donate money to a Boys and Girls club that is in jeopardy of closing. This time of year, I would dress up as Santa and go to a children’s hospital and spread some cheer to the kids that can’t be at home with family and to the parents who are sacrificing everything to be by their child’s side.
They say winning the lottery is a curse. If it were a curse, I think I would have enough money to pay a witch doctor to remove it. I can’t believe no one has thought of that yet! Dummies! I always thought that it was just because you can’t give a poor person money. But in 2002 Andrew Jackson Whitaker won one of the largest jackpots ever, 314.9 million. He was a successful contractor who was living the American dream, but after winning the lottery, his life turned to shit. One night he spent over a 100,000 at a strip club (lucky gals), and then when he was leaving he got in his car and noticed he had been robbed of over 500,000 in cash that he had left in it. Who the fuck does that?! Why would you leave that much money in your car asshole!? Are you waiting for Armageddon? You would think after that, he would stop leaving cash in his car. No, he was robbed again not even a year later for over 200,000 in cash, that he left in his car! This dumb bastard lost, spent, or had stolen from him, 114 million dollars in 4 years! In his case he was just cursed with being an idiot dumbass.
Here is what I would do. Of course as mentioned above, I would help others in need and my close friends and family. I would buy investment properties on the East and West coast. I would travel the world to places like, Bora Bora, Macchu Picchu, and Tokyo (to name a few). What would you do? I guess I should check my numbers now. I will do it while you are here with me! Grab onto your seats people, I will be right back and let you know!……………………………………………………Well, I got one number….dammit…..You really didn’t think I was going to win did you?
Better luck next time I guess. But until then, I will continue to remind myself on how rich in health, family, and life I am (it just sure would be better with 100 million!) 🙂