Stuff that Jeanne says

There is no rhyme or reason…

Archive for the category “Life”

Stuff my dad said..but I never listened!

My dad was a very wise, strong, stubborn man who always liked to offer his advice (when I didn’t want to hear it) and random knowledge about history (which I wasn’t interested in at all). But as I grow older I think to, he was right!

My childhood was filled with lectures, promises, and threats, and  they all seemed to work to keep me mostly out of trouble. What I didn’t listen to was the stuff he said that would mold my future.

Let’s start with the most mortifying experience I had as a child. Right before hitting adolescence, we had the good ol’ “Birds and the Bees” talk. I remember sitting there with my older brother at the kitchen table, and just living inside my head trying not to listen. I can’t tell you exactly what the conversation consisted of, but what I did take away from it was “if you get pregnant before you are way older and/or married ,I will disown you”. Well, the threat worked. I didn’t have my first child until I was 28. I know that if I did happen to become a teenage mom, he would still love me and his grandchild no matter what, but he was a serious man and I didn’t want to take that chance!

Fast forward to high school and when I was getting my license. My dad tried to take me out and teach me to drive, but he was a man with very little patience. We went to an industrial park on a Sunday (since there was no one on the road), and cruised down the side streets. I tried to take a turn without crossing my hands one over the other, and that was the end of it. Another time, he took me out to learn how to drive a standard. I drove pretty far and was proud of myself, but started to choke the clutch (i don’t even know if that’s a term, but that’s what it sounded like I was doing) at a stop sign. We both got fed up and I got back in the passenger seat. What I remember though, is that we were in a not so nice area of Providence, and while we were on the side of the road, a police officer pulled over. He had many questions for us. For those who don’t know me, I am  half Mexican, but no one would ever know. I have light hair and blue eyes, but my dad however looks totally Mexican. Even though I was only 16, I had enough smarts to know that the police officer thought my dad was soliciting a prostitute (Me!). I never drove a standard vehicle again. What I am thankful for however, is that my dad made it a point to show me what was under the hood of the car, because he said “if you’re going to drive it, you are going to know how it works!” Well, one night I broke down in a sketchy area around midnight, and I was all alone. I remember my dad showing me the mechanics of the car and thinking how I could get this car to start. I reconnected a spark plug that came loose after hitting a good ol’ Rhode Island pothole, and on my way I went.

When it came time to think about college and a career, he told me that I should go to school to be a Sports Broadcaster. Back when I was in high school, there were maybe one or two female broadcasters around, and now there are so many. I should have listened. He also told me to go into Sports medicine, where I would make big bucks. I didn’t listen. I thought maybe he was telling me because he was such a big sports fan that he would reap the benefits of his daughter having the “in”. Well, here I sit, blogging for fun and hating my job!

When it came to boys, my dad had one rule and one rule only: Never call the boys, let them call you! Boy was he so true about that. How many nights I sat around waiting for a phone call being disappointed, but if they wanted to be with me they would have called. He told me to date the “nerds” in high school because some day they were going to make something out of themselves. Well, looking back, most of them did (and i have to admit, they are way more attractive now, and more so then some of the cute boys in HS). He also told me I was never going to find a rich man in Rhode Island. That is true. But I married a great man, who may not be rich but gives me everything I need. I know my dad is proud of him for taking care of his little girl.

We lost a great man 5 years ago this May. His words of wisdom live on. I have a little boy that I try to raise with the same values I was raised with. My dad was a HUGE Yankees fan (he was wise, remember?) and now my son will be too. Til the day he died, he coached and umped Little League for the Elmwood section of Providence. I can’t promise that my son will love baseball, but if his grandpa has anything to do with it, he will.

I have to give credit to my mom here of course. She gave us the nurturing that a mom should. She never let us go without anything, and on occassion would “hide” things from our Dad so that we didn’t get the dreaded lectures!

I think having such a strong male figure in my life has made me the independent and strong woman that I am today. I am thankful for that. At 34 years old, I still hear his words, and also hear him saying “you kids never listen”. But he was right, we didn’t.

I am listening now. He died suddenly of a heart attack, and it came as a  big reality check as to how much we need to take care of ourselves. He never did. He was always too worried about others. So this one is for you dad. And as he would say “never say goodbye, it’s see you later”

Dad, I love you and I will see you later!


20 mins in the snow..NOT supermom!

It’s only 2pm, and it’s already been an eventful day in this household. When it snows here, I get to play single parent. My husband is off to work from the first drop of snow, until a few hours after the last. We have had some very long winters! We, meaning me and my son. He has been begging me since he woke up this morning to go play in the snow. I don’t know what it is, maybe I am lazy, I don’t like the cold, I am not as young and playful as I used to be, or maybe it’s PMS, but this is one thing that is more of a chore to me. Layer upon layer of clothing, getting snow in your boots, frostbite on the tips of my fingers, chapped burning face, and stripping off the wet clothing and dragging it into the house. I realize that I am not supermom! Having an only child is tough. At times you are forced to be their playmate and their parent.

It started this morning with my husband opening and closing his dresser drawers violently and making enough noise to wake up the neighborhood. I wake to tell him that I am going to burn that dresser down and he snaps at me saying “what do you care, you get to sleep all day and I have to go to work!” Have a nice day asshole. I never did fall asleep after that. I ran out before the snow got too bad, so I could stock up on iced coffee (because I run on Dunkin’) and it’s like I am catatonic without my first injection of caffeine. I put some chicken concoction in the crock pot (which smells really good right now by the way!) , went in the basement and did a load of laundry, cleaned up dog poop, handled the recyclables, went back in the basement to hit a switch in the fusebox because I blew a fuse and all the while hearing the kid “when are we going to go outside?”.

So finally, I brought him outside…..

The dog frolicking!

Mad because we had to go in!

My crap attempt at shoveling

Maybe we'll come back out later....

He was not happy that we had to come in. But I couldn’t feel my fingers…Isotoner driving gloves are not made for shoveling or playing in the snow.

I feel bad, I really do..I will read with him, color,  play games, and take him places, but I am just not one for playing in the snow. After being inside for 10 minutes, he was already asking when we could go back outside…ugh…

Let me tell you something about my 5 year old. He is snarky, fresh and has the attitude problem of a 15 year old. He tries to boss me around, asking me to do things for him when he is capable, and mimics me when I try to be stern with him. I don’t know if it’s a phase, I sure do hope so, but I am raising my son differently than I was raised. If I talked to my mother and father the way he talks to me sometimes, I would get the threat of the good ol’ belt! I never really got the belt, I think I was just too cute, but my brother did on a couple of occasions so I knew the threat was real!

He doesn’t always verbally abuse me, he is sweet and caring most times and pretty much my shadow everywhere I go. But today, today he has just been straight up bad! I reached my breaking point and had enough so I sent him to his room.

His room

I know, not much of a punishment with all of them toys. But to him, if he can’t be right by my side nagging me, it is punishment. Right now, he is literally climbing all over the arms of my computer chair watching what I am doing out of the corner of his eye while Sprout TV keeps him entertained.

While he was being “punished” he yelled “sorry mom, i’m sorry!”  from his room. Asking when he could come out, and then ran out to  bring me this thinking that he could pull at my heartstrings, and he did..



So, I sit here feeling bad that I am not the perfect playmate for my son.  I know that he made this note for me to weasel his way out of his “punishment”, but he makes me notes like this all of the time even when he is not in trouble. So even though I feel like I am not supermom, and never claim to be, my 5 year old son Michael gives me little reminders that to him, I must be!

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Boredom ensues….

It’s midnight, and I am sitting here bored out of my mind. Granted, I have about 4 games of Words with Friends going on right now, but my brain can only tolerate so much. Besides, I have this weird theory that if you use your brain too much you’re more prone to Alzheimers. I had been wanting to write something, but I couldn’t think of a topic and then it dawned on me. I don’t really need a topic, right? So here I sit…writing……

My 5 year old son had the stomach flu recently, which makes me want to tell everyone to do the world a favor and wash your damn nasty hands! Yes, you..your hands are nasty. You touch doorknobs, elevator buttons, shopping carts, and who else knows what you do when we’re not looking. After three days of cleaning up vomit and diarrhea, I was finally ready to send him back to school with a face mask. You know, looking like he was a Japanese exchange student and there was a potential SARS outbreak at the elementary school. I am still traumatized from seeing a pack of Japanese tourists in Las Vegas during the whole SARS epidemic! I ran away fast as if it were 1981 and someone told me they had HIV. Anyway, I packed extra clothing in his backpack just in case there was an accident, but he got mad and took it out saying “but I won’t  be able to change at school…MOM!”  And then I thought, yea maybe you’re right. The creepy gym teacher might offer to help. So I left the clothes on the table. Fingers crossed. The whole day, no accidents. Phew…And….I probably just jinxed myself.

So, we finally got the first “real” snowfall of the season. I get excited when I see snow in the forecast, and things look so pretty covered in white. But then reality sets in when I have to trudge through it in the morning and clean the car off. I open the car door and snow falls onto my seat. (that pisses me off!) And if there is a lot of snow, you have to beware the idiot drivers, and risk your life turning out of a side street because you can’t see over the large pile of snow on the corner. This time last year we  already had plentiful amounts of snow, and we were ALL ready for spring! Luckily we haven’t had much bad weather up here in the Northeast this season, but I’ve heard people say “this weather is crazy! maybe doomsday 2012 IS for real!”  I don’t get all that nonsense anyway. It’s always something. After we are all alive and well on Dec. 13th, there will be a new mass hype out there to get peoples feathers ruffled!

So, I just paused to reread this post as I normally would,( believe it or not! ) and I see a theme here. Paranoid much? Wow…

I just turned to look at the TV and there is an MTV True Life show on, I’m in the Marijuana Business. I have already gone through two of the same episode of Jersey Shore back to back,and I still haven’t seen it in it’s entirety,  but I’ve seen this True Life episode before. This guy is afraid to tell his parents that he wants to go into the weed growing business and attend Oaksterdam University (yes, it’s a real place), a couple who obviously hate each other and don’t belong together are on a mission to become the top selling weed infused energy bar makers. Wait, did I just say weed and energy in the same sentence! Sure did! And then there is Ashes, that’s her name. She wants to get out of the weed dealing business but is having a hard time finding a real job. Hmm, maybe the tattoos on your neck, the way you sag your pants and the fact that you haven’t had a job on the “books” in god knows how long are holding you back. Yea, and you might not want to call yourself  “Ashes” on a job application. I’m not judging, i’m just saying.

So the TV is being turned off, and the computer shut down so I can go to bed since I have to get up earlier (which I probably won’t) to clean off my car and get to work on time (which I probably won’t). Nite folks!

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C’est la vie!

I haven’t been much in the mood for writing these days. Haven’t really felt passionate about anything. Maybe I am going through something, and I am hoping to dig deep and pull myself out of it.

In the past couple of months I have not been dealt a good hand.  I’ve had to face some emotionally difficult situations, and relive some painful memories. I have also been trying to get myself on a career path that seems to be taking forever, but also  financially it seems almost impossible. The company I work for is struggling financially and it’s affecting all of it’s employees. I see my co-workers unhappy and that pains me, since work has usually been a place for me to escape but it’s been hard because as they say “misery loves company”. And since I am an emotional eater, I have completely disregarded my health by cramming whatever I can down my throat on a daily basis and not exercising.

I know things could be worse, I understand that, but this is my reality for the moment and I would never minimize any one else’s situation. I am not looking for sympathy, merely just venting. I guess you could call this a therapy session! I have endured many emotionally crippling  things already in my life thus far. A near fatal car accident, loss of a child, death of a parent, and a substance abuse problem of a close family member..and I am sure that this is just another bump in the road,  but how many more bumps can my vehicle handle before it falls apart?

The answer to that is maintenance. Just like a car needs maintenance to prevent it from falling apart, I also need to maintain myself. Take care of my health, continue with my goals even if they do have to be put on hold for a while, and do my very best that I can at the job I have now despite the situation and low morale.

So, if you too are struggling, remember that this is life! We are going to go on a roller coaster ride, even if you do not like roller coasters.

English: The Kraken roller coaster ride at Sea...

Image via Wikipedia

Set goals but make sure they are reachable. Take care of your health because above  all that is the most important. Without a sound mind, body and soul one cannot perform and function at their very best without cracking. Be grateful for the things that you do have, because somewhere, someone out there doesn’t have anything at all.

And  when life beats you down….lend a hand or share a story, helping others is a good way to boost your mood..if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it you must accept it. Stay positive. I am positive that things will get better. If not all things, at least some. 🙂

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Taking a Hiatus..

Hey all that subscribe to my page. I want to first thank you all for being interested in what I have to say! But also want to let you know that I will be taking a little time off from writing. A dear friend of mine lost her child, and my heart is breaking for her. I try to think of other things to distract myself, but it is just too hard. Most of us say that we don’t know what we would do if we ever lost a child, but we never expect it to happen to us, or a good friend of ours. 2 year old Sophia was such a precious baby girl. She left an impact on everyone that has met her, and even the people who haven’t had the pleasure. No one should ever have to lose a child… I feel so helpless for my friend, and feel like I should be there holding her tight every day, but I know that she and her husband and their 3 girls are surrounded by many people that love them.  Everyone is devastated and I hope that they can all  find the strength to move forward, and always keep Sophia’s memories alive. Tomorrow will be the day that she is laid to rest, but she lives on in our hearts. I am finding the strength to be there for them, but am at a complete loss for words.

I want to share a poem that I wrote for Sophia.

Sweet Sophia

You are now an angel up above

Your life will always be cherished

with beautiful memories and lots of love

Why you left this Earth

We will never know

But like the sun peeking through the clouds

Your presence will always glow

We will miss your laughter

and your abundant toothy smile

Until we meet again Sophia

If even for a while

You are in the hands of God

and loved ones who have passed

You are a free spirit

In a place so vast

Until we meet again

If even for a while

Shine down on us Sophia

With that abundant toothy smile


Just a few things..



that I’ve learned so far from being a parent!

I only have one, that’s all I ever want and need. I love him to death, but I know my limits and  I have cut myself off from the baby bearing world for good. He’s only 5  and  this is just the beginning.  I don’t know what’s in store for me, but this is what I DO know!


Sleep  This goes without saying..

My bed  My bed will never be that cozy, dreamy place that I long for at the end of the night. Well, I still do after an exhausting day, but it will be full of cookie crumbs. I don’t bother  making the bed when I get up. It will just be a mess by the end of the day from my child jumping on it when I’m not looking. A queen size bed was suffice for just me and my husband, but since our child wakes up in the middle of the night and crawls into our bed, we might just upgrade to a King size. (It’s easier than getting up at 3am to put him back in his room) This will avoid me having to wake up with a foot in my rib and an elbow to the head.

My TV.Forget about coming home and watching the episode of Ellen that I dvr’d while at work. Nope, instead I watch things like  Spongebob squarepants, Pokemon, Fairly Oddparents & Power Rangers. And I’ve seen every episode 10 times!  ( I can hear Spongebob maniacally laughing at me while he monopolizes my TV on the daily!)

Best Day Ever

Shove it Spongebob!

A clean house  I don’t know why i bother. Not long after I have straightened up the house, I find empty juice boxes, and candy and gummy wrappers everywhere. There are enough crumbs under the sofa cushions to feed half the ant population. I never invite people over because I am ashamed of the amount of dust caked up on my ceiling fans, and picture frames on the walls. Honestly, I don’t have time for that nonsense! Once it starts falling on my head, THEN I will dust!

A clean car  The backseat of my car looks like squatters live there. I swear they sneak out at 6:30 every morning. There are unidentified substances encrusted into the interior. The backside of my front seats have toddler sized footprints all over them, there are juice and milk stains on the seats,  and the windows are covered in fingerprints and smudges!

A night out  Everyone’s “Busy that night”, when you ask them to watch your child so that maybe we could go to the Christmas party we were invited to.  And if by chance we do get a babysitter, I feel so haggard these days  that I am  home by 10!

Things I have gained!

Stretch marks  yea, that’s right! Those creepy little bastards that don’t go away! You will either get them, or you won’t.  If you do, you  might as well start naming them, because they do not leave! And if its in your fabulous genes to not get stretchmarks, I hate you.

It doesn't work!

Bags under my eyes  I  have enough baggage to pack for a 2 week trip to Paris. From waking up every night removing the foot from my rib. From staying up late watching every show I dvr’d. And as they say, once you have a child, you will never sleep the same again. Aint that the truth!

Grey hairs  Of course from the stress of raising a child, but also because I don’t  have the time or money to go to the salon and get my hair done!

An extra large grocery bill. My son is only 5 years old, but he eats like an obese 40 year old man.

But most importantly, I have gained an unconditional love that cannot be matched. An endless supply of hugs and kisses (until he’s a teenager I’m guessing), the excitement that only a child can bring when learning and seeing new things, and the miracle of life.

Mommy loves you Michael..

With every stretch mark on her body

every crumb she has to wipe off her bed,

every juice box that she has to throw away

and with every elbow to the head!

My Love!

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The Swear Jar (warning, this post is Rated R!)

I love to swear. I’m not going to lie. I swear  when I express many feelings. Anger-“I hate this fucking place!” Joy-“I am so fucking happy!” Amazement-“That is so fucking cool” ( i guess you know what my favorite word is)

I like to call myself a 9 to 5 swearer, with occasional evenings, weekends, and holidays. I do it with my co-workers, with my husband, and around friends. Growing up, swearing was not allowed or tolerated in my home. My dad was the only one allowed to do it, and if my mom did it when he was around she had to hear him “stop swearing in front of the fucking children!” My mom had an arsenal of weapons to destroy us if a swear slipped out of our mouths. First was the bar of soap (which I am sure many of you have feared in your day), there was also a squirt gun filled with soap and water, and then the slipper she used to take off and chase us with. To this day, I will not swear in front of my mom, aunts, uncles, mother in law, or any other person I encounter that is not in  my comfort “swear” zone. Honestly, I don’t even feel comfortable swearing in this post!

Cookie Monster

So, throw a 5 year old, impressionable, sponge brain  little boy into the mix and things get tricky. Luckily I have the ability to turn off the swear switch, but I have a husband, who has no filter. He does not know how to shut it off. I have to say, he has gotten better, and only recently since we instituted the swear jar! And let me tell you why. My son has a Nintendo DS, which has a voice recorder. One day him and I were recording silly voices and songs. He sang the cutest version of “C is for Cookie” in his cookie monster voice. He walked out of the living room and into his bedroom, and what he was doing in his bedroom would not be discovered until later that evening. My husband and I were sitting down watching TV, while our sweet, innocent, little boy was fast asleep. I said to my husband  “oh, let me show you the cute song that your son made”. What we heard made our jaws drop. It was the C is for Cookie song, but not the one I heard, it was a remix. It started off so nice, “C is for cookie, and cookie is for me….” but at the end of the song, in a faint whisper of a voice it said “mother fucker”. WHAT??? We had to play it again, and again, to make sure we heard it right. We were in such disbelief.

Now let me clarify something, we are not walking around here swearing all the time. If you are a parent, you know just as well how difficult it is to shelter your child from everything. If I could put him in a plastic bubble until he is 18 I would, but what good would that do him?

The next morning, I confronted him, with kid gloves of course. He had a complete and total meltdown about it, knew that it was wrong, and vowed to never do it again. My husband came up with the idea for a swear jar, and I knew exactly how this was going to go. He said, for every swear that mommy and daddy say, we will put a dollar in the jar. And if our son swore, he would have to put 50 cents. Well, here’s the thing, our son doesn’t swear. Only in song…on his Nintendo DS…and the money in the swear jar will be used to do fun family things….We cannot use words like, crap, poop, dummy, stupid and any other offensive words in the spectrum of swear words. Since the swear jar has been implemented, my 5 year old is all over us like a fly on shit! (i know, that’s a dollar!) I never realized how many “bad” words there are for a 5 year old. He could be two rooms away and will hear me if I say “crap!”  He will run over to me, shake his finger, tilt his head to the side, and tell me “you have to put a dollar in there!”

One day, I think I tried to lie and say I didn’t say a bad word, and he said ” don’t lie mom, are we going to have to start a lying jar too?” Son of a gun, how dare he?! Who is the parent here?

Currently there is $13.00 in the jar. Mostly from my husband. Considering this was started about a month ago, we’re not doing so bad. Right? You don’t realize how much it takes to go into parenting until you have a child of your own. You make a conscious effort to change some of the behaviors you are accustomed to, because you don’t want be a poor influence to him or her. We all have such high expectations for them, but at the end of the day, they are their own person who will make their own decisions. What we can do as parents is offer guidance, teach right from wrong, love, and support them. So, in 15 years you come across a young man saying things like- Jiminy crickets! Fudge that! That’s bullcrap! or Malarky! Please be kind, because he just might be my son.

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For the love of God, stay out of my kitchen!!

I couldn’t think of a better day than a brisk December Sunday, to make a homemade banana bread! Why not, I had bananas rotting in my window for over a week now. I buy them with full intentions of bringing them to work for breakfast or a snack, but the bacon, egg and cheese bagel sandwich from my neighborhood coffee shop wins every time. This is probably my second time making one, and it’s a fairly painless process.  I just googled the recipe from (For you banana bread lovers who have never made one yourself, here is the recipe

So I cream the butter and the sugar and low and behold, my husband walks in. He says “is that all butter??’ “i’m not eating THAT!) I proceed to give him the look of (you better go or your going to find a fork in your eye). All is well and i return back to my Sunday project (yes, everything is a project for me). I am a Virgo, and if you’re into horoscopes, you will know that Virgos are perfectionists. This doesn’t mean that we do everything perfectly, it just means torturing ourselves with ALL the details to get it right. I had the recipe on my phone (i have no ink to print it, and my computer is in the other room) so it just made sense. After each step, I had to go back and read the next, after reading the previous step just to make sure I did it right.

The husband comes in again. “do you need me to help with anything?” I realize that when I do something, i’m not much of a team player. Maybe because I don’t like working with other people, or maybe so I can just take all the credit for when something comes out good! Well, I decided to let him join in after all. Bless his heart for wanting to help. I ask him to grab two eggs and add them to the mix. (I had to go back to my phone again to read the recipe). He then precedes to tell me that “there is a tiny little piece of egg shell, and maybe you can get it out because you have fingernails”. When I go over to look, he practically shoved me to the ground with his elbow yelling at me to get out of the light so he can show me where it is! What the?? How the heck am I supposed to see it then?? So, very nicely I told him to remove himself (because I was holding the fork, and as much I wanted to poke it in his eye, Sunday does NOT sound like a good day to go to jail)

After a few minutes passes, and the threat of death is over, he walks by to ask if I got the eggshell out. And yes, I did, after noticing that he used a clean bowl to put the egg shells in!!

Finally, the banana bread is in the oven and we are all alive. I’m not sure how many of you out there can tolerate an extra hand in the kitchen, but I obviously can not. So please, for the love of God, Allah, Lady Gaga or whatever you hold sacred, stay out my kitchen!

Walnut-Bourbon Banana Bread - recipe.

Image via Wikipedia

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Train Wreck

As if I didn’t have enough going on already, I decided to join twitter. I’m still trying to get used to this website, and now I add another. My husband hates me. But I have decided to devote my time to  my addictions, after he goes to bed. What a good wife I am! But tonight I am finding it difficult to concentrate on any task, because I am completely mesmerized by Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC. I wish that you could see my facial expressions while I watch this show. My eyebrows are pointed inward, my nose is scrunched up and my lips are pursed and frowned as if I just bit into a lemon! I’m not going to  rant and rave about how awful I think this show is because if you’ve seen it you already know what a train wreck it is. Why do I watch it? I love watching train wrecks, and knowing I’m not one of them. Well, I guess not in the way of being a pageant mom. Thank goodness I have a boy, that’s all I have to say about that.

I wanted to start this blog page so that I could get used to writing what’s on my mind, instead of just writing a paper for a cultural anthropology, or sociology course. I love to write. Ever since I was a child, I loved to put my thoughts down on paper. I used to sit in my room and write short stories that included mostly mystery, sci-fi, and horror! I would read them to my parents, and they would act like it was the best thing ever. It wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I realized I also have a witty, sarcastic, and humorous side. Most of my blogs will include that side of me, but I also like to be serious at times.  I am the type of person that WILL discuss politics and religion with anyone. I like a good friendly debate. I like controversy. I love the law. I like a good challenge.

School will be starting for me again in January, and I am not looking forward to it because I know that I will have to sacrifice some things, but it’s for the greater good. I have a year and a half left until I apply for law school, and it’s scaring the crap out of me! What if no one wants me? What if I can’t afford it? What if I can’t manage the coursework? For once in my life, I have a goal and I plan to stick to it not matter what obstacles I am presented with. I want to prove to myself, and my son, that you can do anything you want in this lifetime and to not just think about it, but to just do it.

So between working 40 hours, managing a household (5 yr old boy, 34 yr old husband, cat and dog, paying bills, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, know the deal) hitting the gym, blogging, and going to school please pray for me that I don’t become too much of a train wreck, lose my hair, start snorting adderall  or become a raging alcoholic, and commit myself to an institution! Thanks!

My Life Is Being Ruined

Jugando con el Motorola Dext de �scar Rodr�guez...

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Because my phone is busted. Yup! Completely busted the hell up! And I am being completely tortured by it. I do everything with that thing. I text, chat, facebook, pay bills, check the weather, take pictures, use the calculator, mapquest, stalk people, and listen to music. But I absolutely do not ever talk on it. My phone also serves as a great hand warmer. I use the darn thing so much, it feels like it may just spontaneously combust at any moment!

I have a Motorola Cliq android phone that I bought almost 2 years ago! It doesn’t have insurance, because honestly, I never waste my money on those bullshit policies. I used to sell them, I know what it’s all about. I’ve had customers walk out on my ass for pushing them to buy the insurance, but what the hell? It paid more commission than the phone itself. And when the customer came back saying “well the sales girl told me if i dropped it and it got ran over by a mack truck, it was covered!” all I could do was run and hide!

So, my phone isn’t completely dead. I can still do all of those things, but not in stride. To talk on the phone (which i just said I don’t do) The phone must be on speaker. This is actually a fantastic broken feature. Since I hate talking, I can just ignore the call, and text the person back telling them I am in a public place and my phone only works on speaker! You should try it too, and from the comfort of your bed at home while watching House Hunters.

My cliq has a touchscreen and a slider. But, the whole left side of my touch screen is paralyzed. As if it came down with a case of Bells Palsy. This makes it hard to dial numbers, text, or select certain icons. So, I have moved all the icons to the right side! I don’t use touch to text, but when I want to text someone, I have to open the slider, type, shut the slider and hit the send button, because nope, the send button doesn’t work when the slider is open. Feel my pain yet?

I really do want to replace it, but my contract isn’t up until March. I hate cell phone companies. 2 year agreements should be outlawed. I could buy a crappy prepaid phone, but at this point it’s principle.

I know some of you can relate, and some of you think I’m crazy. I have become completely hooked on a small technological device. Why not? There is so much in this World that cannot be missed. I am a cell phone junkie. I really needed to vent my frustration. Oh boy! Oh boy!! I can’t WAIT for March (as long as it doesn’t blow up before then!)

Totally Busted

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