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There is no rhyme or reason…

Staying “InTouch”


A co-worker left a few of her celebrity gossip magazines at the table yesterday and of course my first reaction was to stop what I was doing and immediately pick one up to read it. I love keeping up with upper crust of society. I like to live vicariously through them, and feel better at the end of the day knowing that they have real life problems like we do! Times a 100!!! But with more money! Once a week I will pick up one of these magazines at the register while unloading my groceries onto the belt. Only the ones with the “real” stories in them, you know? But recently I have refrained. Times are a little tight, and I figured I would save my 2.99 and just follow the celebrity gossip twitter pages on my feed! But there is just something about having that magazine in hand.  I just wanted to share a few thoughts on some of the stories I have read.

First of all the cover shows three “Bachelorette’s” in their bikinis and I can almost guarantee that this edition didn’t fly off the shelves. I don’t know many women who are running out to get that one. As a matter of fact, my coworkers husband actually grabbed this one for her when he was doing a little shopping. Hmm…Besides, I want to read this magazine so I can get the latest celebrity gossip, not to see how these skinny D-list reality celebrity bitches are going to lose weight in the new year! If I wanted to lose weight, I would buy the low-calorie recipe book next to it…morons!

So with that said, let’s get started…(and by the way, I really wanted to add pictures from the magazine to go along with each story, but I don’t know what kind of legalities would come into play if I did that and  i’m broke so I have to watch my back! Instead I grabbed some fair use photos that appear to be safe)

Being a Real Housewives fan, one of my new favorite additions to the show is Brandi Glanville. If you don’t watch the show, she is the ex-wife of Eddie Cibrian, who left her for LeAnn Rimes. LeAnn Rimes? Really? There is a picture of them getting all snuggly in their snow gear, and a caption saying that LeAnn gave him an “antique box with 50 reasons why I love him”, for Christmas. Are times a little tough LeAnn? Don’t worry, he will think of 50 reasons why to cheat on you. BARF!

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL - JUNE 05: (EXCLUSIVE CO...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Reese Witherspoon. I admire her first of all for Legally Blonde, but also because she is always depicted as this super mom, who is an A list actress, and always makes her kids her priority. The magazine shows a  picture of her and her son boogie boarding in Hawaii. That must be so nice..

Legally Blonde

Legally Blonde (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

Flip  a few pages down and you will find J-Lo, who has to be having a mid life crisis or something because she is seeing a 24 year old go go dancer. Really it’s no suprise, we know what kind of awful taste she has in men. But on the side of the page shows a “manny” trying to take control of her son Max who is throwing a tantrum and the parents are nowhere around.  Shame

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)

I came across a photo of Lil Wayne at a Lakers game, in a pair of camo shorts and ski boots. Said he was on his way to a K-12 afterward. Lil Wayne skis?

English: Black & White photograph of Lil Wayne...

Image via Wikipedia

Poor Jessica Simpson. Everytime they show her in a magazine, they show a before “super skinny” photo compared to a current not so skinny photo. I’ve always felt a little bad for this girl. She does fit the description of every blonde joke out there.  Poor thing! She can’t help it. But now she is pregnant and they are STILL showing super skinny photos next to her current ones! She’s with child for crying out loud! You look beautiful Jessica Simpson!

Jessica Simpson

Image via Wikipedia

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s two daughters setting up shop with a lemonade stand outside their house. I just thought that was the sweetest thing. Just because you are super rich and always in the media, doesn’t mean your children can’t have “normal” lives. Props

Of course it wouldn’t be a celebrity mag without 0ne of the Kardashian skanks in it. There is a big article about Kim being a homewrecker and how she helped ruin Kobe Bryant’s marriage. Umm, I think he had no problem doing that on his own. And I really just don’t care about the Kardashians enough to read this article, so I can’t tell you much about it.

Okay, I’m not going to lie. I stopped and read about how those skinny bitches on the cover planned to get skinnier but it’s nothing I think I’m going to try. I’m not going to try and eat what they say they eat, because I know they don’t even eat. How else are they supposed to make it big in Hollywood?

Katy and Russell are getting divorced..Jada’s secret divorce talks..blah blah blah.. we all saw that coming…and then flip the page and there are about 10 pages of what  the celebrity weddings are going to be like this year and what gowns they will be wearing.  That’s just cruel!

Okay, I said I don’t care about the Kardashians, but “Slimey Scott hits on a sales girl” LMAO! Kourtney, you are D-U-M-B!

Really? Are we still talking about Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo? They must be a space filler. I hope..But that’s okay Nick, you can fill my page…

Nick Lachey

A stupid story about Bristol Palin..Where the stars go to escape.. Inside someone’s celebrity home, and poking fun at fashion disasters. Of course these magazines wouldn’t be complete without all of those included.

As long as they keep making them, I will keep reading them. How else am I supposed to know what it’s like to be rich, beautiful and famous? Sometimes I feel like I need to get a life and not even care, but we are bombarded with it daily and it can make good conversation with others who share the same interest of stalking celebrities!

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4 thoughts on “Staying “InTouch”

  1. Thanks for giving me my fix.

  2. I can appreciate your desire to stay in touch with wonderful world of stars and their antics; they’re jsut so nutty, aren’t they?

  3. Jeanne on said:

    yes! it makes me feel normal!!!

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