Stuff that Jeanne says

There is no rhyme or reason…

5 holiday gifts for that special someone….


Having trouble finding something for that special lady in your life? TV, Internet, department stores and catalogs are flooded with items for sale that are sure to put a sparkle in her life.

Sure… lava lamps, ironing boards, longjohns, soda stream soda makers, vacuum cleaners, shoe organizers and snuggies all make great gifts. But its 2011 people!And there is so much more out there!!

Screenshot from 80s SodaStream ad

Image via Wikipedia

Here are some gifts that will definitely tickle her fancy on Christmas morning, and sure to get you some action on Christmas night!!

1. Booty pop- retailed at $28-$40 “A booty-licious booty in an instant” What woman doesn’t want to look like one of the Kardashian sisters (except for maybe Khloe, poor thing, I like her the most) This is a win win for you guys out there. Wouldn’t you like to have a night on the town with a fine ass on your arm? Baby got back!

2. Pajama jeans- ONLY 39.95!!!! “Looks like denim, but feels like pjs!” You can get them in bootcut or skinny. Whichever your fashionista prefers! Throw these bad boys on, and you’re ready to go! Too exhausted at the end of the night to put your pajamas on? No need, just jump right into bed! Order now and you can get a free grey tshirt to go with it.  Valued at $100!

3. Slap Chop-$19.95 “Chop nuts in one slap!” Nothing says Happy holidays like, get in the kitchen and chop my nuts! And who wouldn’t want to buy something that helps the spokesperson pay for violent showdowns with prostitutes? The ladies will thank you!

4. This one has to be my absolute favorite. It’s called the Forever Lazy-for the low low cost of $29.95, you can bogo free! Now you and your partner can “get toasty WARM from head to toe”.  And who wouldn’t want to be lazy forever? We ARE Americans after all. I mean, you can wear this thing EVERYWHERE! Out on your deck while drinking coffee, family game night, and best of all while tailgating at a Patriots game with your friends! (We all know how cold it can get here in New England!) This one is so good I had to add the commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S2p7AiNX9g

And don’t forget the easy access for when duty calls!!!!

5. And finally, the Eggstractor makes the perfect gift for that lady who is always boiling eggs. On sale this week for $12.99. “Tired of peeling eggs?…not anymore!”. I am sure every woman has enough space in her cabinets to hoard this bad boy.

So go on, get shopping! Buy one, buy all! And while your wasting your money on this crap, think to yourself “Why didn’t I think of that?”

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9 thoughts on “5 holiday gifts for that special someone….

  1. JEANNE!!!!!!! You are an absolute riot…..Aaahhhh hahahahahahahahaha this is the best!

  2. Edgard barroso on said:

    Lol Jeanne you come up with the strangest stuff!

  3. Lmbo!! Too funny!!

  4. kim pelletier on said:

    You outta watch World’s Dumbest..They do some shows ,on one they had someone trying to sell a coochney(not sure how it’s spelled)but girls use it to hide their lips and not the ones on your face!

  5. I had a glass of red and had to read again for some extra laughs!!!!!!!!!!!!! I lub u Jeanne

  6. Booty Pop?! I spend an hour a day at the gym trying to get RID of my ass!
    These are great!

    • Ha! I try to get a little “lift” on mine, but no need..just pop the booty pop in your pants (and make sure they’re not lopsided!!)

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