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There is no rhyme or reason…

Scary Santa Photo Time!


Oh boy, it’s time to get that photo op with good ol’ Santa Claus at the mall. Get in line folks, and I mean long line. What a pain in the ass. Bad enough we can’t stand to keep our own children occupied, and keep ourselves sane while waiting, but we have to wait in line with dozens of other snotty nosed, wheezing, whiny little children. But it’s just so nice to have the memory of your child sitting on some random man’s lap, even though we encourage them to NEVER sit on any grown man’s lap who isn’t grandpa, daddy, or uncle.

The cost of a photo is obscene. We paid $15.00 for a measly 5×7. Thank you local mall for ripping me off. And DON’T EVER even try to use your camera phone. My husband tried that one year, and Paul Blart was ready to haul us right out of the mall. The cashier who so pleasantly took our money told him (not so nicely), to put his phone away and he not so nicely told her to f*ck off. Yes, in front of everyone. It wasn’t a pleasant scene. In his defense, like mentioned above, we waited about a half hour for the picture, while corralling our child away from the velvet ropes, and getting ripped off. As you could see his patience was worn thin. Of course it was up to mommy, to buffer the situation and step between the two of them, while directing my child to look at the camera and say cheese! We walked away unscathed.
The good thing about Santa photos, is that you can usually get away with 2-3 years of not getting them. That’s a savings of about 45 dollars! Infants to a year old, don’t really know what is going on, so they will more than likely be willing to plop on Santa’s lap and have their photo taken. Between ages of 2-4, children are likely scared of “life-sized” characters that they have seen on TV and in books. So getting them to oblige to having a picture with Santa, is most likely not going to happen without some kicking, and screaming. But it may be funny to have a photo to look back at, with the look of terror on your child’s face!
My son is now 5, and he hasn’t had his photo with Santa since he was 2 years old. Since I am always snapping photos of him, he saw that getting his picture with Santa Claus was more of a photo op, than a chance to tell him what he wanted for Christmas. He is a camera ( i looked for a synonym for whore since I am referring to a 5 year old, but streetwalker, hooker, and tramp just didn’t seem fitting) whore. And I wonder where he gets that from. He saw the Santa set up at the mall, said he didn’t want his photo this year and then within 30 seconds changed his mind and said “I do want to have my picture taken, do I have anything on my face?” Luckily for me, Santa was on lunch break. My husband took him back the following weekend (while I stayed home and played sick) and I had to remind him not to try and snap his own photo!
So, get your kids’ best clothes out, take some airborne to ward off germy kids, maybe a valium might help while standing in line and then you won’t care that your child is swinging from the velvet rope, open your wallets, tell your husband not to bust out his camera phone, and remind your child to say cheese and to never ever sit on any man’s lap if you’re not around even if he says he is Santa!!
Happy Ho Ho Holidays!
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2 thoughts on “Scary Santa Photo Time!

  1. i got the perfect mental picture of uncle mike when you described the phone incident

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